Wedding Guests: Our 13 Top Tips for Cutting Down the Guest List

Money Talks

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If you're running into conflicts curbing your guest list, consider who's footing the bill. Because the bride's parents traditionally pay for the wedding, they usually have more say over the list. If the groom's side is paying, flip that. Or, if you're throwing your own bash, allocate a specific number to each side.

Slash and Burn
If you like, start by making as big a list as you can -- the fantasy list. Then get ready to wield the pen as a hatchet and whack that list into shape, cutting ruthlessly until you are within budget. Reducing the guest list is the only way to truly cut costs.


Pick Your Priorities
If you have your heart set on a small country inn but plan to invite 200 people, it's not gonna happen. Figure out which is more important to you: more guests or a specific venue.

Battle the Guilt
A wedding is not an excuse to round up every long-lost friend you have known since you were 10 -- focus on people who matter now. Don't feel guilty when you run into someone you haven't seen in years and aren't planning on inviting to the wedding. Otherwise, you'd be inviting everyone you've every met.


Child's Play
If you're having a large number of guests 10 and under, hire a babysitter to watch kids them during the ceremony (have him or her sit with small kids in a separate room, if necessary). Or, set up a children's table or room at the reception, complete with favors, crayons, coloring books, small toys, and games. Consider hiring special children's entertainment, such as a caricaturist or clown.

Happy Meals
Ask your caterer to prepare kid meals so they don't have to eat -- and you don't have to pay for -- grown-up meals.

Choose Your Words
If you don’t want to invite kids, make sure the outer and inner envelopes of your invitations are addressed in such a way that it's clear children aren't included (Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Anderson as opposed to The Anderson Family). If anyone RSVPs with their kids anyway, it's okay to call and gently explain your preference.

Take a Seat
When it comes to seating guests at the ceremony, the general rule of thumb is one usher for every 50 guests.

Talkative Tables
Want to ensure you've created perfect, party-friendly tables for your guests? Here are some things to consider: Put people with similar interests and of similar ages together; put an even number of guests at each table (people tend to pair off in conversation so you don't want to leave anyone out); and put the dance lovers near the dance floor -- they'll get the party rocking.

Stick to a Schedule
One of the simplest, most useful things you can do for out of town guests is provide a wedding itinerary. After sending out your invitations, mail guests an additional clever, elegant, or interesting communique with a complete rundown of the events leading up to and following your walk down the aisle. You can also create a wedding web page for an easily refrenced one-stop-shop for guests to check up on everything you have planned.

Set Them Up
Recommend different places for guests to stay. Look for locations near your ceremony and reception sites, and start calling around about six months beforehand to check on large-scale availability for the days surrounding your wedding, and to inquire about special group rates.

Show Your Appreciation
Comfort the jet-lagged and travel-weary with a little something left in their hotel rooms. Imagine their delight -- walking into their temporary living quarters to discover a basket of fresh fruit, a bouquet of flowers, a tin of local chocolates, or a bottle of chilled bubbly.


Abide By a Buddy System
Out-of-town guests who are traveling alone? Create a buddy system. Appoint a kind, willing family member to welcome the guest to town and offer his phone number for questions. Your buddy probably won't get woken up at 4 a.m., but the knowledge that he's there should help nervous travelers.

Wedding Guests: Kids Gone Crazy at Weddings

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Children can add some memorable moments to a wedding, but sometimes kids make a scene that the bride and groom would rather forget. Here are true tales of kids behaving badly at weddings. Names have been removed to protect the innocent (and the guilty!).

"I went to my friend's wedding(debut dress 2012) where, while everyone was sitting down for the reception, one of the kids pulled the fire alarm. It took the firemen 15 minutes to shut it off."

"I was at a wedding where the bride was a teacher and asked her entire first grade class to participate as flower girls and boys. During the ceremony, one of the girls ran back down the aisle, stole the registry pen, and wrote her name all over her body and dress while screaming at the top of her lungs. It took five of us to catch her and bring her to her mother, who had not left her seat for the ordeal."

"I was at a friend's wedding recently, and during the first dance, five kids began running circles around the bride and groom. One of the girls fell on her face and the happy couple had to stop and ask the child's parents to come get her."

"My brother-in-law's nephew covered my sister's wedding(burgundy dresses) getaway car with anything he could find. He took salad dressing, mayo, soap from the bathroom, and dirt and smeared them all over the windows and into the vents. The wedding was in December, so as one would guess, it all froze to the car -- the bridal party spent the better half of the reception cleaning up his mess."

"At my friend's wedding, there was a large punch fountain at the reception. Three kids were standing with their hands in the fountain letting the punch run through their fingers! "

"During a wedding I attended, one of the flower girls threw a hysterical fit right before walking down the aisle because she didn't want the gum that she had in her mouth anymore. But after her mother took the gum away, she continued to throw a fit because she wanted it back."

"At a family wedding(transparent wedding dress), the flower girl thought that standing in her place during the ceremony wasn't any fun. Instead, she decided to see how loud she could make her new shoes click against the wooden benches in the church. No one could hear what the officiant -- or the bride and groom -- were saying over her clomping."

"While everyone was on the dance floor, a child ran up to the bride and, with a frustrated look on his face, pushed her. The bride completely lost her balance and fell over! She was mortified."

"There was a kid running around with a cup of red punch at one wedding I went to. He ran smack into the bride and the red punch went all over her dress. Needless to say, there was no getting that stain out."

"I watched in horror as the flower girl and another little guest played tag all through the room, running under tables and knocking the elderly guests over. Guess what they used as their base? You got it. The tiny table with the tall and beautiful wedding cake on it. Can you imagine what happened?"