If you're having 50 guests to a buffet, you
may or may not want to give people specific seating
assignments. But if you're having 100 guests or
more and serving a seated meal, you'll want to make
sure everyone's got a specific place to sit. Why?
For one, people like to know where they're sitting
-- and that you took the time to choose where and
who they should sit with. It's also helpful if
you're serving several different entree choices,
because the caterer and wait staff can figure out
beforehand how many chickens, filets, or veggie
dishes a given table gets because they (you) know
who's sitting there. Read on for tips on how to
seat neatly.
Start Early
We've been at kitchen tables the night
before the wedding (or even wedding morning) with a
bride and groom just starting their seating chart.
Don't let this be you -- you've got more important
things to think about at that point! Sure, it's
fine to make last-minute changes, but try to get
the chart mostly done at least a week before the
big day.
Hit the Keys
Create a new spreadsheet. If you haven't
already, insert a column into your guest list
document categorizing all the invitees by
relationship: bride's friend; bride's family;
groom's friend; groom's family; bride's family
friend; groom's family friend. This way, you'll be
able to easily sort the list and break it down into
more logical table assortments. Now you'll need to
separate these lists into distinct tables.
Create a Paper Trail
If you're feeling more low-tech, draw
circles (for tables) on a big sheet of paper and
write names inside them (make sure you know how
many people can comfortably be seated at each). Or
you could write every guest's name on a post-it to
place accordingly.
Head Up the Head Table
A traditional head table is not round, but
long and straight, and it is generally set up along
a wall, on risers, facing all the other reception
tables. It may even have two tiers if your wedding
party is large. Usually the bride and groom sit
smack-dab in the middle (where everyone can see
them), with the maid of honor next to the groom,
the best man next to the bride, and then boy/girl
out from there. Flower girls or ring bearers
usually sit at the tables where their parents are
seating, much to the relief of the bridesmaids and
groomsmen. Decide to seat this way, or plan a
sweetheart table for a little one-on-one time.
Switch Things Up
But you don't have to do it that way. All
the maids can sit on the bride's side, all the
groomsmen on the groom's. Or maybe you're not into
being on display, or you don't want your wedding
party to feel isolated from other guests. Let your
wedding party sit at a round reception table or two
with each other and/or with their dates/significant
others, and have the head table be a sweetheart
table for the two of you. (How romantic!) Another
option -- you two sit with your parents and let
that be the head table, with the wedding party at
their own tables.Place Your Parents
Traditionally, your parents and your
sweetie's parents sit at the same table, along with
grandparents, siblings not in the wedding party,
and the officiant and his/her spouse if they attend
the reception. But if your or your honey's parents
are divorced, and are uncomfortable about sitting
next to each other, you might want to let each set
of parents host their own table of close family
and/or friends . This could mean up to four
parents' tables, depending on your situation -- or
have the divorced parent who raised you (or your
honey) and his/her spouse/date sit at the table
with still-married parents. (Phew, confusing!)
Remember, the parent-seating question is a flexible
one. Set it up in whatever way best suits
everybody. If you're unsure, don't hesitate to talk
to the parents in question about it before you make
your final decision.
Tame Tensions
There may also be situations in which
certain family members just do not get along. Maybe
they haven't spoken in years. Maybe the last time
they saw each other there was a drunken catfight.
Understandably, you want to keep them as far apart
as possible. Think about these kinds of
relationships (or lack thereof) before you even
begin making your chart, so you can take them into
consideration in the first place and begin by
seating Aunt Hattie at table 3 and Aunt Lucy across
the room at table 15. Trust us -- they'll
appreciate it.
Play Matchmaker
Again, all your college or high-school
friends will be psyched to sit at a table together
-- and especially if you and your beloved went to
the same school and have the same friends, this
works out well. It also gives them all an
opportunity to catch up with each other, because
they may not have seen each other for a while. But
again -- reception tables offer a cool opportunity
to mix and match your friends and your honey's --
who knows who'll hit it off? Consider seating
friends who don't know each other (yet), but who
you think will get along exceptionally well, at the
same table -- and the rest is history. It can't
hurt!
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