When planning your wedding, there are things that are nice to
know, like that trumpet skirts are all the rage or nosegays
are making a comeback. Then, there are things you need to
know -- advice so essential that any bride who's lucky enough
to hear it thinks, "I'm so glad someone told me that!" If
you're wondering whether there's something you may have
missed (or even if you've got everything under control),
check out our indispensable planning secrets.
1. Guests Come First
Get a grip on the approximate number of guests you'll invite
before settling on a venue. This will ensure there's ample
space for your crew. As a rule of thumb, allow for 25 to 30
square feet per guest. That may seem like a lot, but it's not
if you count the space you'll need for the tables, bustling
waiters, the band, and the dance floor.
2. Investigate Wedding Blackout Dates
Know ahead of time if your wedding date falls on the same day
as a trade conference, charity walk, or other local event
that could affect traffic and hotel room availability.
3. Listen to Mother Nature
Heed the weather and other potential annoyances. Guests have
been known to skip out early from hotter-than-hot summer tent
weddings and improperly heated winter loft receptions. Bugs
(gnats, deerflies, and no-see-ums) also swarm in certain
areas during certain seasons. Consider renting pest control
tanks to alleviate the problem or including bug repellent in
guests' gift bags. And if you want a sunset ceremony, make
sure you know when to say your vows by checking
SunriseSunset.com.
4. Check Your Credit
Take advantage of the high cost of weddings and sign up for a
credit card with a rewards program. Whether it gives you
airline miles or great shopping deals, consolidating all
wedding-related purchases to this card will help you
accumulate thousands of rewards points (which could be used
for your honeymoon).
5. Pay It Forward
Let one vendor lead you to another. Your wedding photographer
can tell you which florist's blooms really pop, and your
reception manager should know which band packs the dance
floor.
Let one vendor lead you to another. Your photographer can
tell you which florist's blooms really pop, and your
reception manager should know which band packs the dance
floor.
6. Lighten Your List
The easiest way to trim your wedding budget? Cut your guest
list. Remember, half of your wedding expenses go to wining
and dining your guests. If it's costing you $100 per person,
eliminating one table of 10 can save you $1,000.
7. Ask and You Might Receive
Request an extra hour for cocktails or for your band to throw
in that Frank Sinatra sound-alike before you sign on the
dotted line. Most vendors would rather secure the reservation
than nickel-and-dime you early on and turn you off. Later on,
though, they may have less of a motive to meet you halfway.
8. Make a Meal Plan
Another unforeseen expense? Feeding your wedding day crew.
Before you sign the contracts, make sure you're not required
to serve the same meal to your vendors that guests will
receive. Otherwise, you could be paying for 20 additional
lobster tails. Choose a less expensive (but equally hearty)
meal for them instead. You will have to let your wedding
caterer know a couple of days before the wedding exactly how
many vendors you need to feed (don't forget photography
assistants and band roadies) and what you want them to serve.
9. Get Organizationally Focused
In a three-ring binder, compile all your correspondences with
vendors, notes you make during meetings, and photos or tear
sheets from magazines you want vendors to see. Set up a
special email address dedicated to your wedding, and store
important vendor numbers in your cell phone.
10. Tend to Your Bar
Typically, you need one bartender per 50 guests to keep the
line at a minimum. But if you're serving a signature cocktail
that cannot be made ahead of time (or in large quantities),
consider adding an extra server designated to this task.
11. Leave Some Room in Your Wallet
Your wedding budget should follow this formula: 48 to 50
percent of total budget to reception; 8 to 10 percent for
flowers; 8 to 10 percent for attire; 8 to 10 percent for
entertainment/music; 10 to 12 percent for photo/video; 2 to 3
percent for invites; 2 to 3 percent for gifts; and 8 percent
for miscellaneous items like a wedding coordinator. It's
essential to allocate an extra 5 to 10 percent of your money
for surprise expenses like printing extra invites because of
mistakes, additional tailoring needs, umbrellas for a rainy
day, and ribbons for the wedding programs. Go to
TheKnot.com/budgeter for an interactive budget allows you to
add your own items.
12. Don't Be Afraid to Beg
With vendors, almost everything is negotiable. And it doesn't
even sound insulting. Just say, "I would love to have you,
but my budget doesn't allow for this. Is there any way we can
make this work?"
13. Wait for a Date
Sometimes, last-minute planning can work in your favor. The
closer your date, the more bargaining power you have. Since
most people book their wedding sites at least six months in
advance, calling for open dates two months prior to your
desired time can save you up to 25 percent. And, Friday and
Sunday weddings should cost about 30 percent less than
Saturday weddings.
14. Manage the Mail
Of course you want the perfect stamps for your wedding
invitations. But not all stamps are widely available at every
post office, especially in large quantities. Save yourself
scouting time by ordering them online at USPS.com. And be
sure to weigh your invitation and all the additional paper
products before you send them out so you can attach the right
amount of postage. Ask your stationer about the need for
additional postage for odd-shaped envelopes.
15. Prepare for Rejection
Know that as a rule, about 30 percent of the people you
invite won't attend. Naturally, this depends on the location
of your wedding (destination weddings are harder to attend),
how many out-of-towners are on your list, and the timing of
the event (some guests may have annual holiday or summer
plans). On the other hand, everyone could accept -- knowing
your wedding will be the can't-miss party of the year!
16. Make a Uniform Kids Policy
You have four choices: You can welcome children with open
arms; you can decide to have an "adults only" wedding; you
can include immediate family only; or, you can hire a child
care service to provide day care either at the reception
space, in a hotel room, or in a family member's home. To
prevent hurt feelings, it's wise to avoid allowing some
families to bring children while excluding others (unless, of
course, the children are in your bridal party).
17. Prioritize Your People
Pare down your guest list with the "tiers of priority" trick.
Place immediate family, the bridal party, and best friends on
top of the list; follow with aunts, uncles, cousins, and
close friends you couldn't imagine not being there. Under
that, list your parents' friends, neighbors, coworkers, and
so on. If you need to make some cuts, start from the bottom
until you reach your ideal number.
18. Take It One Step at a Time
Put together a wedding planning schedule and do things one by
one, in a logical order, so you don't take on too much too
fast and end up with everything snowballing around you. Don't
hire any vendors before you've confirmed your date; don't
design your cake before you've envisioned your flowers; and
don't book a band before you've settled on a space.
19. No Ring, No Bring
If your guest list is bursting at the seams, assess the plus
-one scenario. Do a faux seating chart in your mind, and
imagine whom your single pal would sit with. If it's a table
of singles that she knows pretty well, then you're all set.
If it's a table of couples (making her the odd one out) or if
it's a table of singles where she won't know anyone, consider
bending the rules. If asked why you're not allowing single
friends to bring guests, size constraints or your parents'
never-ending guest list are always good fallback white lies.
20. Release Rooms
As soon as you have picked a date, start to look for hotels
in a wide variety of price points. Many hotels allow you to
reserve rooms for guests under a special wedding block and a
reduced rate. You can then release any unbooked rooms a month
prior to your wedding. If the hotels you contact insist upon
contracts with cancellation penalties, just say no -- you
don't want to be responsible for rooms you can't fill.
21. Provide Accurate Driving Directions
Make sure guests know where they're going. As easy as online
map programs are to use, sometimes the directions are wrong
-- or there's a quicker, less traffic-prone route to take.
Ask your ceremony and reception sites for printouts of
recommended driving directions, which they often keep in
stock for weddings and will give to you for free, and test
out the routes yourself.
22. Keep a Paper Trail
Get any nonstandard changes to your agreements in writing or
send the vendor a confirmation email saying, "Hello, just
confirming that you'll keep the venue open until 2 a.m.
versus midnight." Don't take anyone on his word -- by the
time the big day rolls around, your contact may no longer be
working there to vouch for you.
23. Schedule the Setup
You must make sure there's ample time for setup. If you're
renting a venue and bringing in outside help, ask, "What time
can people come in to set things up?" Preston Bailey, author
of Preston Bailey's Fantasy Weddings, recommends seeing if
they can do it the day before, or at the very least the
entire wedding day, before the event starts.
24. Learn About Marriage Licenses
You can check your state's license requirements online, but
confirm with a call to the county clerk's office to see when
they're open. Even if it's open from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., they
may issue marriage licenses only during slower times like,
say, Thursdays from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. Give a copy of your
marriage license to your mom or your maid of honor (just in
case you lose yours during the final days before your
wedding).
25. Go Over Ground Rules
Be prepared! Ask the manager of the house of worship or site
where you'll be married for the list of restrictions (if
any). For instance, is flash photography or bare shoulders
prohibited? Or, if you're exchanging vows outdoors, are you
allowed to plant tent stakes in the lawn (which is often a
no-no)?
26. Classify Your Cash
Wedding budgets are all about balance. Start your budget
planning by making a list of the crucial details, like the
music, your wedding gown, the invitations, the flowers, and
the photographer, and assign a number to each -- one being
the most important and three being the least. Invest your
money in all your number ones and cut corners on your number
threes. (But everything can't fall into the number one
category!) For example, if a designer gown and fabulous food
are what really matter, you may have to choose simple
invitations and smaller floral arrangements.
27. Help Guests Pay Attention
Make sure your guests can see -- and hear. If people are
seated farther than 15 rows back from your ceremony altar or
podium, consider renting a mic and a riser. This could range
anywhere from $50 to $100, depending on the equipment used.
You'll need to coordinate the delivery and setup with your
ceremony space, so put your wedding planner or best man in
charge of this task.
28. Write Down Your Digits
Carry an emergency contact sheet on your wedding day. Keep
the paper with names and phone numbers of all your vendors in
your purse -- it may come in handy in case your limo driver
gets lost or you decide you'd like your photographer to take
some behind-the-scenes shots.
29. Call the Fashion Police
Don't go dress shopping on your own -- all the gowns will
start to look the same after a while and it will be harder to
recall which style you really loved. But be careful about who
you do bring. If your mom or sibling can't make the trip, ask
a friend who is truly honest. This is the time when you
really need to know which dress looks best.
30. Be Realistic With Your Time
When it comes down to the last month of your planning (and
when you're particularly harried) look at your mile long to-
do list and cut three things. Yes, cut three things. Not
crucial things that you just don't feel like doing, such as
picking a processional song or confirming final details with
all of your vendors. Eliminate only the over-the-top tasks
like hand-painting "Just Married" signs, or baking cookies
for all of the welcome bags. Make a pledge to not think about
them ever again.
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