We're not selling grooms short: There are a lot of guys who
count "expressing my feelings" as a forte, and who are
engaged in the drama of a seating chart. Communication is a
cornerstone of any good relationship, but the high tension,
strange customs, and unfamiliar etiquette that come with
planning a wedding can leave some guys speechless, and many
brides aggravated. Here's what he really wants you to know,
and how to handle it, without even having to ask.
"You have to tell me what I'm responsible for."
You might expect him to plan the honeymoon, and might hope
for a present on the morning of the wedding, but does he know
what a groom traditionally takes care of? Unless he's been
sneaking a peek at your bridal magazines, he might be totally
unaware that he has any responsibilities after he proposes.
And if he's among the first of his friends to get married, he
probably doesn't have anyone dishing these valuable tips to
him. Relationship Rx Telling your groom what you expect of
him is not poor etiquette -- it's necessary, and he'll
welcome the guidance. If you're not comfortable filling him
in on some of the details (like the bride's gift, for
example), ask one of your bridesmaids to bring it up so that
he gets the hint (and so you don't get mad).
"I have no idea what napkins will go best with our linens,
but that does not mean I don't care."
You mention how you'd like your bouquet to match his
boutonniere, and his eyes glaze over. You show him a motif
you're going to add to all your stationery, and he responds
with a shrug. It's tempting to interpret reactions like these
as disinterest in your wedding (and, in turn, your
relationship), but don't be so quick to pounce. Relationship
Rx Even if your groom doesn't have strong feelings about the
decor, he wants the wedding to look good just as much as you
do. His mild interest in the details doesn't mean he doesn't
care about the wedding -- it means he trusts your tastes. Ask
him specific questions, like "Which flower do you like
better?" and you're more likely to get a direct response.
"I want you to look like you."
Every bride wants to look her best for her wedding, but some
risk changing their style too dramatically with heavy makeup,
big hair, and too many accessories. Relationship Rx While
there's nothing wrong with getting glamorous for your
wedding, your groom doesn't want you to change your look so
much that he doesn't recognize the girl who's walking down
the aisle. He fell in love with you seeing you every day, so
remind him of that with hair and makeup that are distinctly
you.
"My friends aren't D-class citizens."
Just because you might not like one (or a few) of his
friends, doesn't mean you can seat them in Siberia during the
reception. If you stick a table of his buddies in a corner
while your friends have a prime spot near the dance floor,
they will notice, and they'll probably wonder why they got
the short end of the seating chart. Relationship Rx Make a
game plan for your reception seating that follows logic more
than favoritism. Give close family and attendants the best
seats in the house, and arrange tables from there. If you
have to put a group of his friends toward the back, show
there's no ill will by seating your friends in a similar
position.
"Don't ask for my opinion if you don't really want to hear
it."
With so many tough planning decisions to be made, it's
natural to second guess yourself and seek out your groom's
opinion. And that's fine, but not if you're asking him only
to reinforce something you've basically already decided. If
he tells you his thoughts (the ones that disagree with you),
your response shouldn't be along the lines of, "Are you
serious?" Relationship Rx Turn to him when you're really torn
about a choice, and he'll gladly give his input. When you
know exactly what you want, however, go with your gut rather
than put him in a position to pick an option you would never
really consider.
No comments:
Post a Comment