1. I will not do anything... before the guest list.
It's not the most fun part of planning (and we'll be honest,
it's one of the most likely to lead to a fight or two or
twelve), but you shouldn't make any wed-day decisions before
you have your wedding guest list somewhat firmly in place.
Why, you ask? Well, do you want to have a nonrefundable
deposit down on that cozy restaurant room that fits 75 when
your mother-in-law's additions bump your list up over 200?
Exactly. Once everyone's in agreement, then you can move
forward. That said, this means that one of the parts of your
wedding you can plan immediately (or at least talk over with
your fiance) is what kind of atmosphere you'd like for your
wedding. Do you want an intimate, close friends and family-
only affair, or do you want to throw the event of the season
for 300-plus people? Later, when you're in the guest-list
trenches, this bit of planning will help back up your gut
instinct about whether to say yes (or no) to guest-list
additions.
2. I will not end up on YouTube for the wrong reason.
Adorable processional dance? Totally acceptable path to
stardom. Bridezilla freak-out on the florist who delivers
hyacinths instead of hydrangeas? Not so much. On your wedding
day, all eyes (and camera phones) will be on you, meaning
your every move is subject to instant Internet infamy. Mind
your manners and keep your panic attacks quiet to avoid the
wrong kind of publicity. But that video of your dad doing the
worm during your father-daughter dance? Internet gold.
3. I will not realize that grape isn't my color -- with two
months to go.
You should feel free to rethink, redo, and revamp any element
of your wedding that you want -- unless you've accepted a
ring from it (just kidding). This doesn't have to mean yet
another huge investment or reneging on a bunch of contracts
-- you'll be surprised how easy it is to make simple
additions or subtractions and change your whole style.
Already ordered those pastel bridesmaid dresses? Think about
adding a bold sash or accessorizing with chandelier earrings
to liven them up a bit.
Unsure about the color scheme you chose? Pay an extra visit
to your florist and work out changes to your bouquets and
centerpieces -- adding new blooms in all of your arrangements
will introduce a new color throughout the room. Same thing if
you've already ordered the linens -- spice them up with
bright table runners or overlays. If you decide you really
can't live with it, chances are you can go back on your first
choice -- just remember that it will have a cost. A good rule
of thumb is that if you've already signed a contract or seen
a proof, you will have to pay extra for any changes or
additions you make. But if it's still relatively early in
your planning process, don't be afraid to make the change.
Remember, you're getting married to your husband, not your
centerpieces.
4. I will not use my Facebook status as a personal wedding
journal.
Okay, we know you're excited about planning your wedding, but
that girl from your college history class couldn't care less
that you finally booked a reception band (not to mention
understand that passive-aggressive comment about the best
man). We're not saying the everyday details aren't
interesting -- we'd just recommend a different platform.
Instead of overloading your Twitter feed with wedding
details, create a wedding-planning blog for those who want to
keep tabs on the ups and downs.
5. I will trust my vendors.
Before you start micromanaging every decision your wedding
planner makes, remember one thing: You're paying them for a
reason. Consider their experience and expertise an
opportunity for you to relax. They want you to love the
result (after all, your recommendation hinges on it!), so
they're going to strive to please. And wouldn't you rather
help someone who trusts your abilities rather than second-
guesses everything you do? There's no harm in giving a good
amount of direction at the outset, but asking for daily
progress reports is overkill.
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