When you're already dipping deep into your (or your parents')
savings for so many wedding expenses, shelling out gratuities
on top of that can be hard to handle. Well, rest easy: unless
a service charge is spelled out in your contract, you're
never obligated to tip anyone.
However you can't ignore the fact that some vendors will
expect a gratuity, which forces tipping to be considered on a
case-by-case scenario. Some general rules: Don't tip business
owners, only tip their employees (however, you can/should tip
an owner when the service exceeds expectations); tip vendors
who offer exceptional service; thank-you notes are always
appreciated; and assign the responsibility to a trusted
deputy such as your wedding planner, a parent, or the best
man. For a breakdown of what's customary for each vendor,
read on.
Wedding Planner
Wedding planners won't likely expect anything; however, if
yours did a great job you can always offer a token of your
appreciation. (Note: Non-monetary thank-yous like
professional photos of the wedding for the planner's
portfolio can go a long way too.) Approximately 50 percent of
couples do tip their planners -- typically those with more
opulent weddings.
Protocol: Optional
The $tandard: Up to $500, or a nice gift
When to Tip: The bride should hand off the envelope at the
end of the reception, or, she should send a thank-you note
with photos or a check after the honeymoon.
Wedding Hair Stylist and Makeup Artist
This is one area where a gratuity is definitely expected. Tip
between 15 - 20 percent just as you would in a hair salon,
and consider giving a little extra if there's a crisis, like
one of your bridesmaids has a meltdown over her updo and it
requires a redo at the last minute.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 25 percent, depending upon the quality of
service
When to Tip: At the end of your service
Wedding Delivery and Set-up Staff
Slip a few dollars to anyone delivering important items to
the site (wedding cake, flowers, or sound system). And if a
lot of gear needs to be brought in and set up (tents, chairs,
or port-a-potties), the workers deserve a tip too.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: $5 - $10 per person
When to Tip: Drop off cash envelopes the day before the
wedding to the catering manager so the person accepting
deliveries can turn the tip.
Wedding Ceremony Officiant
If your officiant is affiliated with a church or synagogue,
you're often expected to make a donation to that institution.
If you're a member you'll probably want to give a larger
amount than if you're not. However, if you're getting married
there and they're charging you to use the space, feel free to
give a smaller amount. If you're using a nondenominational
officiant, no tip is required because they will charge you
for their time.
Protocol: Expected (depending on officiant)
The $tandard: Donate $500+ to the church or synagogue, or,
for a nondenominational officiant, an optional tip of $50 -
$100
When to Tip: Most ceremony fees are required prior to the
wedding. Otherwise, have the best man pass the cash envelope
at the rehearsal dinner if the officiant is in attendance.
Wedding Ceremony Musicians
If you worked with a mini orchestra to come up with the
perfect score for your service (and they pulled it off
flawlessly), consider showing some monetary thanks for their
talent. However, you probably don't have to tip the solo
church organist who was required to play.
Protocol: Optional
The $tandard: $15 - $20 per musician
When to Tip: At the end of the ceremony.
Wedding Photographer/Videographer
You're not expected to give your shutterbugs any dough beyond
their normal fees. Yet if the wedding photographer or
videographer doesn't own the studio, consider tipping each
person (or give a certain amount with a thank-you note to
disperse to staff).
Protocol: Unnecessary, unless the photographer is not the
studio owner.
The $tandard: $50 - $200 per vendor
When to Tip: At the end of the reception.
Wedding Reception Staff
This type of staff includes the on-site coordinator, maitre
d', and banquet manager. A service charge (typically 2
percent) is almost always built in to the food and drink fee,
so check your contract. If the gratuity is not included, tip
as follows.
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 20 percent of the food and drink fee
(based on labor, not the cost), or $200 - $300 for the maitre
d'.
When to Tip: If it's covered in the contract, the final bill
is typically due before the reception. Otherwise, have the
father of the bride or best man hand the envelope to the
maitre d' at the end of the reception since you will need to
know the final tab to calculate the percentage.
Wedding Reception Attendants
When it comes to bartenders, waitstaff, parking, bathroom,
and coat-room attendants the rules of tipping are dictated by
your contract. If the service fee is included, consider
doling out extra only if the service was exceptional. If it's
not included, ask ahead of time how many attendants will be
working your wedding and calculate on a per person basis.
Protocol: Optional, based on contract
The $tandard: $20 - $25 per bartender or waiter; $1 per guest
for coat room and parking attendants; $1 per car
When to Tip: Although tips are traditionally passed out at
the end of the event, you could alternately distribute them
at the beginning of the evening, to encourage all the workers
to give you great service.
Wedding Reception Band or DJ
Whether you hire 12-piece swing band or grooving to a DJ,
tipping musicians is completely optional. (Depending on the
quality of the job and how willing they were to follow your
ideal playlist!) And don't forget about any sound technicians
they bring with them.
Protocol: Optional, yet preferred
The $tandard: $20 - $25 per musician; $50 - $150 for DJs
When to Tip: At the end of the reception, by the best man.
Wedding Transportation
Again, check your contract, as gratuity is usually included.
If it isn't, plan to tip provided they show up on time and
don't get lost!
Protocol: Expected
The $tandard: 15 - 20 percent of the total bill
When to Tip: At the end of the night or after the last ride.
If you used a separate company for the guest buses, designate
a bus captain to hand the driver a tip, otherwise, this duty
falls to the best man.
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